Wednesday, February 28, 2007

A Convenient Truth

Now that Al Gore has won an Oscar for An Inconvenient Truth, it's time to assess how Hollywood impacts the Presidential process. Clearly, Oscar is the new Peace Prize. And while we at It Could Be Wirsing have the luxury of time before the election, it's not smart to hold back too long on this crucial campaign step. After all, it took Martin Scorsese more than 25 years to win his--and as much as I love Karl, he's no Scorsese.

The Gore model is a good one. A documentary is the ideal format. Serious subject matter says "I care," and the long-form type lends gravitas. This does not mean, however, that the potential candidate should necessarily choose Issue Du Jour. After all, Mr. Gore spent years being ignored in Congress, when he'd go on and on about environmental stuff while everyone else headed out for drinks, long before Leonardo DiCaprio ever considered driving a hybrid. And now we care because Al cares (and because "Kyoto" is a fun word to say).

Accordingly, I propose a theme that is already near to Karl's heart, one which will probably become relevant somehow in the next twenty-five years: prairie dogs. Sure, the hum of this issue is still pretty low; no one has sent Anderson Cooper out to the midwest yet to do an in-depth story with his characteristic "empathetic face" on.

But if we begin to get the word out now, the Academy will be ready for a revelatory film by 2030. And it will be a great night. Dakota Fanning and Karl doing scripted banter about his coy non-answers about exploratory committees. Ryan Seacrest (after his fourth facelift) asking inappropriate questions on the red carpet. And--ultimately--a swell of Hollywood goodwill and contribution dollars before the hangovers set in the next morning.

The gaudy, glitter-strewn stage has been set. I think we're up to this challenge.

1 comment:

Karl said...

If global warming nears a horrible climax in the next few decades, we humans won't be able to tolerate the sun's murderous heat all day - neither will those of us unfortunate enough to live near a coast have homes anymore. So we'll turn to prairie dogs, underground architects and tunneling engineers that they are, to learn about subterranean life. We'll dig entire cities underground (yet ideally above sea level), grow paler with each passing moon, and once again being tan will be a sign of a coarse, unrefined upbringing. The brightest of us will stay out of the sun's gaze all day and pamper our skin with mud wrestling and dirt pies. We'll only surface to chirp a few times, maybe wag our cute little tails, and then scram back underground.

And we'll all have prairie dogs to thank for humankind's salvation. Just like with trivia, Kate, your ideas are gold. Can Arnold play me in this documentary? Or is that bad form?