Why must I be absurdly overqualified for everything I do?

This post will serve a dual purpose. The first and more essential being the announcement of my official title in the Wirsing '32 campaign: Director of Lessons Learned. It is an honor and a privilege to hold such an illustrious position in such a noble endeavor.

The second purpose, while not as essential, is arguably more essential. To prove that Wirsing '32 is not, in fact, the beer-fueled concoction of a group of wage-earning and/or unemployed grad students and is, in fact, a legitimate presidential campaign, I feel compelled to outline my sterling and unassailable qualifications for the job.

First of all, I am not nor have I ever been chair of the Texas State Lottery Commission. Second, poised as I am at the threshold of the shining fortress that is the field of Information Science, Lessons Learned are, basically, my shit. The general aim of information access, at least as far as why I feel compelled to amass silly amounts of student loan debt in order to break into the profession, is to make sense of the ridiculous barrage of facts and opinions and images generated every day. Every second. And it's further the truth that making sense of this information-- finding patterns, if you will-- will hopefully allow individuals to make better choices and to-- yes-- learn lessons. From their fuck-ups and the fuck-ups of others.

Also, my favorite episode of Arrested Development is the one where George Sr., who for years used a one-armed friend to teach his children various life lessons*, uses the same man to teach his children a lesson about why you should never teach your children lessons. All lessons were learned.

*Children forget to leave note indicating that the milk carton is nearly empty. George Sr. is enraged. Loads kids in the car for a mad dash to the supermarket. On the way, hits a pedestrian whose arm is severed by the impact, and who after the children are thoroughly horrified reveals himself to be the one-armed friend wearing a prosthesis. "That's why you ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE."