Monday, July 31, 2006

'Special' Election

At Candidate Karl's request, I did some in-depth research into the possibility of a warm up run for POTUS ten years earlier. As it would be mid-term, we would have to amend the constitution for a special election. While the publicity (petition drives and what-not) might do the 2032 campaign some good, it might not be the message we want to send:
"Isn't that the guy that tried to run in 2022?"
"Why would someone try and do that?"
"I don't know, but when he was rubbing my belly, the baby responded."
As these are pretty difficult questions to answer in a ten second soundbite (?), I suggest the better part of valor would be to run as planned.

As an addendum, I know I haven't talked to the candidate in close to eight years, and I understand I am on the short bus of this campaign trail. Not being privy to strategic planning sessions, I risk redundancy in making three suggestions:
  1. Even though Noah's crass commercialism makes it obvious he isn't a serious candidate, it might be prudent to start a whisper campaign now that he is an inveterate bed-wetter.
  2. Make campaign donations payable through paypal. You could hold regular 'fundraisers' at the Tam with the proceeds.
  3. The bumper sticker:
Vote fitty, Vote Challenger
It could be Wirsing 2032

... would allow an ad. campaign with no reprinting costs in every pres. election until 2032. They might get a little dirty, but hey, Karl's a man of the people, I mean Karl is the people, I mean... Ah, hell.

H

4 comments:

Hal said...

Weird. Publishing a post saved as a draft keeps the original timestamp. Lesson learned, didn't mean to steal your thunder, el capitan.

Karl said...

No worries there. In fact, you've alerted us more keenly to this Noah megalomaniac, who's somehow just written a book at age 10? My ass this sheet-staining ultra-conservative has (these are only rumors, but I swear I've heard them corroborated twice by the same person)! His four most cherished mentors, I'm led to understand, are that girl from Harvard, James Frey, Stephen Glass and Jayson Blair. And so what if he knows trivia. Has he never seen Soldier Two in action (for those, like H, not living in Boston, Soldier Two is our trivia team, which happened to win first again last night, at the Tam)? Never heard Apache and gone ape-shit on the bar tables? No way. Noah couldn't even get into the Tam, let alone rock that bitch out. So this race is on, young fella. As soon he pulls off those "I'm a big kid now" training underoos, I'll teach this upstart how to be paid back in kind.

On a second note, I love your idea about reusable campaign slogans. Years of wrinkle and yellow grit will only add luster to what will be our long-standing tradition of excellence ... by 2032.

Karl said...

And how do we get Paypal on this site? Even young Holly Togel offered a place to donate. What's wrong with us? Are we second-rate, busted and unsophisticated?

Mike said...

No links to the opposition from our site please.

And no negative ploys. This is a campaign of ideas.