Plans for the first annual "It Could be Wirsing" Mr. Tight Buns contest are now underway, with tentative dates scheduled for the middle of September. We are still searching for ideal locations, but the response to our call for asses has already been overwhelming. So far, contestants include Al Roker, Mike Moats, Shaq, Albert Pujols, Ernest (of "Scared Stupid" and "Goes to Camp" fame), Tony Schaffer, Conan (the Barbarian, not the Destroyer), and, very tentatively pending progress in the courts, John Karr. His interest/fetish with tight buns is questionable, and I'm worried he misinterpreted our contest. In any event, quite a line-up. Tickets will be $10 for adults, $5 for kids. All proceeds will benefit the campaign.
Interested participants should contact us at email@example.com, or by posting to this site.
Squeeze away, gentlemen. It's time to flex those buns to perfection.